L-O-V-E

Today is Valentine’s Day. It’s the day set aside to celebrate LOVE. And when we think of Valentine’s Day our thoughts immediately go to romantic love. If you have a sweetie, Valentine’s Day brings the warm and fuzzies when you think of them. How do I love thee....comes to mind. You search for the perfect expression of your love for them and anxiously await their profession of love to you.

I too felt all warm and syrup, sweet as I wrote Valentine’s cards to my children telling them how much Mommy loves them and how much they mean to me. I got teary as I wrote an emotional, heart felt love letter to my husband-which got me to thinking about the word LOVE. We say I love you, or I love my shoes or I love my car, I love money, I love chocolate, or I love this or that. And ultimately what we’re saying is that these people or things that we say we love make us feel something. They make us feel good, safe, and protected. These things leave us happy, pleased and feeling good about ourselves.  

LOVE is a feeling, an adjective.

But what happens when your child is disobedient or disrespectful? What happens when your significant other hurts your feelings or doesn’t behave the way you want them to? Do you stop loving them? Through the anger, disappointment and pain you still love them. Why, because you choose to. Because love is not just how you feel, it’s about the decision you make everyday to act out love. You do this even when the object of your love is not acting very lovable! You forgive and extend grace because you have decided to love in spite of.

LOVE is not just a feeling, it’s a verb.

This is what love really is, it’s not about the other person. It’s about you and your heart. And the purposeful decision that you make to give your heart to another, fully and completely- without condition. You love your children despite what they do. You keep trying, believing and pushing them to do better. You love them and want the best for them. You forgive your loved one for the things they do or say that don’t feel so good to you, because you love them. You have chosen to hang in there and consider someone other than yourself. To put someone else’s needs before your own. That’s LOVE.

So enjoy your flowers, candy hearts and cupids today. Delight in the sweetness and savor the warm and fuzzies that today brings. But wake up tomorrow and remember the choice that you make to act out LOVE even when it doesn’t feel so good.

Happy List

Haven’t written in a while. I just haven’t had much to say. Just been going through life, day by day, minute by minute, from one hour to the next. Been reading and writing, eating, sleeping, praying and praising...just living life.

Then this morning I was reading a devotional written by an old friend and I got to thinking. Today I am going to make a HAPPY LIST. A list that simply states all the things I can think of right now, in this moment that make me happy!

So here goes:

1.      I’m alive

2.      I’m in love

3.      I am loved

4.      My business

5.      Anticipation of the delivery of a pair of shoes I ordered this morning- YIPPIE

6.      No meetings at work today

7.      Today is a GREAT hair day

8.      My sister is in love and happy

9.      February 15 is coming!

10.  I had fantastic sex recently

11.  My girlfriends are world class

12.  I made 2 really great business connections yesterday

13.  The only sound I hear right now is the keys on the keyboard. I love silence.

14.  This list is making me smile

So there you have it my HAPPY LIST for 2/8/2011. I’m feeling pretty good right now. You should try it. Just start thinking and write down any thought that makes you smile. I promise this list will be much longer than a list of things that are wrong or are making you sad right now. And if it isn’t, write one every day until it is. Just tap into your heart and the things around you. Try to see the joy in the simple things. Things that appear on the surface as just life going by serve to shape our everyday state of happiness. Think about them, acknowledge them and write them down.

And on those days when happiness eludes you, pull out your HAPPY LIST and read it!

Mirror, Mirror

I spent a little extra time in the mirror this morning just looking at me. Taking in my features. The curves and contours of my face, its shape. Even the Reese’s chocolate color of my skin. Then I started thinking about what the Word says, “God created me in his own image.” I realized that goes so far beyond what I look like.

Every woman from time to time either feels really pretty or really not so pretty, just depends on the day and her mood. But we were created in HIS image. Do you get how HUGE that is! Those of us that are believers know who GOD is, but how often do we just marvel at HIS majesty and how big He really is! And the reality that HE saw fit to fashion little ole me in HIS very own image, makes me pretty HUGE too.

I have this one pair of tennis shoes. And I’ll be honest, they are pretty ugly. They are white and silver lace ups with a massive sole on the bottom. They are the shoes that are supposed to help shape you as you step in them. My fitness trainer husband insisted that I purchase a pair when he read about all the benefits of the newest and greatest fitness product on the market. I, on the other hand could only see just how hideous they were. I mean really, did he think I would be caught dead in such an unfashionable shoe? REALLY!

 Long story short, I ended up with the shoes and LOVED them. I could feel the difference in my leg circulation shortly after I began wearing them during my daily walk from the train to work. I also noticed that they caused me to stand a little straighter. Because of the thickness of the sole, you have to in order to stay balanced. I was feeling really good about my fantastic, new find. I had all together forgotten that they were not at all cute and horribly unfashionable. Until one day I made the mistake of wearing them in the presence of my girlfriends. They could not believe that I was wearing such awful footwear! Their protests to my poor style judgment caused me to again remember that these shoes really were pretty ugly. So I quietly put my horrible shoes away for a while. I had no intention of being seen not one more day in such ugly shoes.

This is what we do to ourselves. Just as I let my friends opinions steer me away from the practical, useful and therapeutic nature of my tennis shoes. We allow opinions of others, negative self images and doubt to deter us for the greatness we were designed for. We so easily forget that we were made, crafted and uniquely designed in the image of PERFECTION. We were crafted with great care and equipped for an enormous purpose.

So the very next time you are feeling not so pretty or not so worthy, run to a mirror and look at your self. Really look and ask GOD to show you what HE sees. Get beneath the surface of the image before you and HE will show you just how beautiful, useful and worthy you really are!

Perk Up!

Today is one of those days.  A day when you don’t feel particularly one way or the other about anything. Just kind of neutral. Not good or bad, just a little indifferent. Not overly lethargic, but energy doesn’t abound either. Not anxious or worried, but not terribly confident today. Just another day.

I find that these are the days when I have to be extra careful. It’s all too easy on a day like today to get off course and completely loose focus! So today, I’m wearing my “no slip” shoes. The ones with double enforced, rubber soles that provide extra support and balance.

On these days, it’s important to spend a few extra minutes in quite time. Pull out that notebook, that your goals are written in- STUDY it. Remind yourself of your plans and do something-anything related to the next step in your journey. Read something uplifting. Speak words of energy and progression today. Call the most positive person you know and just ask them, “How is your day going?” Their response is guaranteed to help fill up your lackluster energy tank. 

Close your eyes and visualize yourself at the end of your journey, when you have reached your goal. My eyes are closed right now and I see and feel freedom, calm and peace around me. I’m standing at the check out counter with a beautiful pair of Jimmy Choo’s being wrapped and bagged ever so gently by the sales clerk. I see myself handing over the $780 and not batting an eye as this is not an extravagant or overly indulgent purchase for me, it’s just another pair of shoes.

Upon opening my eyes, I feel slightly more energetic than before and my mind is racing with activities that I need to either look into or accomplish before days end. And all it took was to refocus on the goal. Don’t let complacency creep in. It’s not okay to take a day off when working toward something. Keep your focus. Keep those “no-slip” shoes close by and slide them on when you feel yourself about to slip backwards into do nothing attitudes and no action behaviors.

The only person that can hold you back is YOU.

1/12/2011

Nine years ago today my life changed forever! At 1:24 pm on that a Saturday afternoon, I became a mother. My 5lb 6.5 oz beautiful baby boy- after 42 whole hours of labor, had finally arrived! It was as if the whole world stopped. I remember when I held him for the first time; I felt a very uncomfortable sensation. I now recognize that the feeling was a complete and utter state of dumb-foundedness (is that a word?). WHAT THE HELL WAS I GOING TO DO WITH THIS BABY!

As you have come to know, I can relate ANY situation to shoes so here goes! Your child (as do shoes) has a personality all their own which can be a great help in knowing what to do for them. Obviously there are parenting decisions that you make based on your fundamental beliefs, but there’s lots of room for your child’s individuality to play a part.

Have you ever seen a pair of shoes that you just had to buy simply because they were super cheap? You knew as you pulled out your wallet, you had absolutely nothing in your entire wardrobe that even remotely matched those shoes (never a good reason not to buy a pair of shoes by the way). But you made the purchase anyway. After getting your “must have” purchase home, they sit in the closet and collect dust, you may even forget about them. Until one day, you notice them and after much effort, you find yourself standing in the middle of your room, staring at the mess that you have made while trying find an outfit for these shoes you just had to have. DUMB-FOUNDED by the fact that of all your many outfits and your natural ability to make anything stylish, you just have no idea of what to wear with these shoes. Overly trivialized as it may seem, this was the feeling that I had when I looked at my baby.

But as with matching shoes to outfits, you just have to try different things to see what will work. It’s been 9 years of learning and growing for me as well as for my son. We’ve gotten to know what we each like, don’t like, will do and won’t do. We know one another’s habits; we understand and respect one another. We don’t always see eye to eye and we sometimes struggle to get where the other is coming from. But just as you try and try again to find the perfect outfit for those shoes, you keep growing and trying new things with your child.

So to my wonderful baby boy- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Thank you for challenging me to think in new and different ways. Thank you for your love. Thank you for changing my heart. Thank you for being the first thing in my life that I have been willing to fight for and am determined to win at!

I LOVE YOU......

Change

A very wise person told me recently, “The only way to change, is to change.” It sounds so simple stupid when you think about it, but realistically- it’s just that simple. We are so bound by the comfortable routines and patterns of our lives that the thought of doing something different never even enters our mind! But let’s just think about this for a minute, it’s called “NEW YEAR” for a reason. We fool ourselves into thinking that this year will be different, we will be different. But the harsh reality is that those declarations to make change are no more than fleeting thoughts and empty words. Well intended though they are, how often do the actions and patterns of our behavior change to achieve desired outcomes?

So, I challenge myself and you in this NEW YEAR to CHANGE. I’m starting small with my favorite thing, shoes! When I got dressed this morning, I pulled on my favorite jeans, a crème colored turtleneck, a tan blazer and accessorized with a fabulous long gold and clear, crystal beaded necklace. Now in the hustle and bustle of my commute to work, I always throw on my trusty UGG boots or running shoes. They are more comfortable and easy. But in the spirit of CHANGE, today I pretended that it was Saturday and I was headed out in this outfit for lunch with the girls- NEVER WOULD I BE IN UGG BOOTS OR RUNNING SHOES! So I decided to make a change to my daily work week routine and stepped out in my chocolate brown, suede wedge boots.

What a difference! My normal drudge into work today was much brighter! I feel more like my weekend self today. You know the one who is more relaxed and carefree. I just feel good. And to think, all I did was change my shoes.

Now the new plan is to make a small change everyday and eventually the comfort in making small changes will snowball into the bigger things and these small adjustments will invite new patterns and form more productive habits. And before I know it, there will be a new routine! One birthed from a true effort to be different and better.

My word to you today is -do something different. Break your routine, do something out of the ordinary. Be a little daring and see what happens. And then tomorrow, change something else. Push yourself to remove all self defeating thoughts and be different. What’s the worst that could happen? CHANGE.

New Shoes

As another decade comes to an end it’s time to change my shoes.  Just realized that for all this time, I’ve been wearing my safety shoes. The ones with the extra safe, no slip, grip on the bottom. Don’t get me wrong, these are wonderful shoes and they’ve been good to me. In these shoes I have learned some things, done some things and changed some things. I have met some people, birthed some people, found some people, and lost some people. All in the comfort of my trusty safety shoes! They have never let me down. They have held me up when my legs gave out. They have helped me run, when I wanted to walk. They have carried me when I had not the strength to take another step…..my good ole safety shoes.

But lately my safety shoes have not been fitting so well. Some days they are way too tight. So tight, the pain is unbearable. Then others days, they seem to be so loose I’m afraid they will fall right off my feet in mid stride!

So I got to thinking about what to do with these safety shoes and the only good answer seems to be that I need a new pair of shoes! See as the new decade approaches, I think I need a shoe that’s a little more daring, not so safe. Maybe a bold, bright color that dares to make a statement as loud as a stark white stiletto on Valentine’s Day! Yet sensible enough to be understated when paired with the right outfit. And on top of all that it’s got to be comfortable, not too small, yet not too big.

Now with all these requirements, finding these new shoes will not be easy and will definitely take some time. The search will have its ups and downs, good days and bad. But boy, when I find those shoes- WHOA!